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The Day That the Wallet Stayed Closed

Most of us go through our everyday with some cash in our wallets, not because we really need it, though there are always those instances when you need to. But on the whole, most times we just carry money for “emergencies” or “just in case”. Then there is the occasional, (really?) coffee cup, “because I need it to wake up”, or that candy bar, “once is not going to hurt”, and I could go on and on and on down a shopping list of unnecessary expenses.

The problem is not that cup, candy bar, or that “___” (you can fill in the blank) that I must have or really need now , but the psychological justifications or how we rationalize those little expenses are only cover ups to continue with a flawed line of thought. And yet we are surprised as to “where did my $ 20 dollar bill go to?”

Believe me that I'm not against any of them, but the first rule of money is knowing where it goes, and if you where to carefully account for all of the money spent on frivolous unnecessary things, the reality is that you would be much better off.

Now what if the tickets were not candy bars, but much higher marked items? And you are going to tell me that “Now, now, I watch where my money goes!”

And my answer to that is “Sure you do, but most dams are not broken by big explosions but they are surely undermined by erosion and decomposition of the components.” In order words, if you do not know where you are literally bleeding money, how would you know where to plug or how much is leaking out?

My advice to you is:

Start small, and really watch where your moneys are going to.
Take notes (really write them down!) as to your daily expenses for a week or a month if you are brave enough, and truly find out how "cheap" all of those frivolous expenses really are.
Then asses your status, shift your appetites and change your spending.
Create a small account of “play” money that you can put to work for you, and then slowly but surely repeat the plan.

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Subject: Hiding in a Cocoon – Much like Gulliver

When we run into troubles, especially financial ones, we tend to hide into our personal cocoons. For some people, this means that they will literally hide from the world, and cut contact with anyone who could “find them out and / or embarrass them. Others do the very opposite, by putting on an act and living as if the end of the world was about to happen next day; and yet there are many spectrums between these two extremes.

The commonality between these two is that they both hide from real help and real solutions.

Much like taking a pain killer; one group hides in themselves, while the other hides in others in order not to face the reality. It is too cruel and harsh for either of them.

An YET, the reality is that the only real solutions to their problems is much like the Spanish saying of “taking the bull by the horns”, and seeking real help, asking questions and systematically breaking down the situations into manageable chunks; much like cutting down the giants into Lilliputians, and dealing with each one at a time, not loosing focus, and getting all entangled by them.

By trying to ignore the issues, they worsen to the point that some carry real unmanageable resolutions. And most could have been prevented had steps been taken, but everyone develops 20/20 sight on hindsight.

When financial troubles hit, rather than freezing, shutting-in, hiding, or becoming a thespian, and these are the times when you need help the most, and least willing to seek it. Sobriety and discipline will be your best friends, because otherwise you will continue getting sucked into a downward spiral and or rollercoaster from which it will be difficult, and maybe even dangerous to get off!

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Subject: What Time Frame Do YOU live in?

Do you listen to yourself …, no, not the “voices” in your head, (though sometimes they are truer to our reality, than we are willing to admit). But the verbs, and especially the tense of the verbs that you use. There are really three ways of living: past, present and future.

Living in the past

Not as many people as we think actually live this way. Though we may be accused of this, the reality is that we relive certain memories, whether good or bad, over and over. Most of us do not live in a vacuum running away from reality. The proof of this is that we use transportation, modes of communication and other general tools (cell phones, computers, microwaves, etc.), which demonstrate our understanding of reality.

Living in the Future

This is the majority of the people that I see, talk with or meet any where I go. These are the people who often use the “ought's”, “should”, and “I will's”.

They become subservient to their mental tasks, and most from what I see (and I am included here in this group if I do not guard my thinking), escape from their duties or needs, into their wants. Fear of failure leads them into failure itself. The future that is sought will never arrive and thus these individuals live like the donkey tied to the mill stone with the never reachable carrot in front of it.

What tense should we then ;-) in?

Living in the Present

Mary Poppins sung that “A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down”, (check out the lyrics sometime, you'll see what I mean).

Not to steal more words from the song, but the song begins with “Well, it depends on your point of view. You see... (kinda, sing-speaking) In every job that must be done”

Thomas Alva Edison said that “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” He should know something about it; he has enough patents to his name, and left an admirable legacy.

So then the question is, what is the tense of your mental speech? Where are you (your mind, your speech) focus on/in?

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “ So far as a man thinks, he is free. " So who are you serving?

If you say that it is yourself, then you cannot, by definition, be a couch potato or an “I'll do it later” person. For starters, change the channel by hand if the remote it's out of reach, and don't keep watching mindless programming, just because “it will be over soon”. You must do something. Otherwise you are and will be always subservient to someone else.

Then you have no right to complain, unless you are talking to a mirror; a clean one preferably.

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Subject: TIS the Season to BUY, Why should you THINK? SNASU!!! Not Gesundheit!

Having finished Thanksgiving and heading straight towards the Hanukah / Christmas / Kwanza celebrations, all of the companies are ramping up their commercial campaigns, with all of the pretty colors, bows and sounds. This makes me reflect about three things:

The definition of the word campaign:
Whose survival is critical in this Shark-Remora economy?
The purchasing attitude of things either purpose-driven or capricious-spending

According to yourdictionary.com, the word campaign is defined as:

a series of military operations with a particular objective in a war
a series of organized, planned actions for a particular purpose, as for electing a candidate

Which then brings me to my second point, who is really the Shark (predator) or the Remora (sucker) in this season? We know that the companies make their survival during this season; some complain that this season is so commercial, and yet the failure of sales will cut jobs, and close doors.

Which then brings me to my third point: Some will go “mad” looking for the better deal, some will go mad when they do find that their target is gone, and some will blame the companies (whether the retailers or credit companies) for taking advantage of the spending. And yet without it, where would we be?

And so this is a dog-eat-dog season in which if there is no spending, there is no future, and if we do not spend, how do we really “fulfill” the dreams of the season of bringing joy and happiness.

So then, the SNASU concept is in play: Situation Normal All Screwed Up! Or as the great bard wrote long time ago, “To be or not to be”, which in this season is equivalent to spend or not to spend.

I propose that prior to setting in the spree, and though many have done so, you think regarding what is the fulfillment that is sought, yours (the giver-spender), theirs (the receiver-consumer), and the others (the corporate partners & the economy)? Peace of mind cannot be found on material things. It is found on feelings and sensations, and these only are momentary; and on thoughts and memories, which can be perennial.

So in the Season of the giving:

Which is your objective in this war?
Who will be the winner? Who is the Shark and who is the sucker?
Which gift are you really providing to you, them, and the others?